Back to Work With Mixed Emotions

All working mothers know that terrifying feeling of leaving their little baby for the first time to go back to the office. As I sit here holding my sleeping babe after a tummy-time tantrum, it occurred to me that this is my last day home alone with this little girl. At least for a while.

It hardly seems possible, but Vera will be two months old tomorrow, and that means that Monday I head back to the office with mixed emotions. Yes, I still have tomorrow and the weekend to cuddle her 24/7, but Brett will be home tomorrow so we can have a long weekend as a family and that means that today is our last day alone together. Not that I’m not thrilled to have him here. I LOVE it when we can all spend the whole day together and actually begged him to take tomorrow off so that I didn’t have to take V to her 8 week checkup alone. (I’m not sure I can handle her getting shots by myself.) But that means that this is officially the last real day that I can have her all to myself. The real world is creeping in again.

I’m sure there are a lot of moms out there who can relate. I miss my job and my work friends, but I can hardly bear the thought of spending 9 whole hours away from my little baby. Of only seeing her for a few hours at night until its time to put her to bed. I know it will get easier, but today, right now, it seems like torture. We’re lucky to have a great babysitter lined up, but no one seems qualified enough for that first day, you know? Haha, I know Vera won’t even be phased by this, but it seems so huge to me.

I stopped into the office today and brought V with. I also asked my project manager to try to keep me extra busy on Monday so that the day goes super fast. She laughed and said she would do her best, so hopefully it flies by. I feel like I’ve been gone for so long, so I’m sure I’ll spend half the day just playing catch-up with email and learning the new systems that have been put in place while I was away. I’m excited to get back into the swing of things and trying to hold onto that excitement. I’m also excited about how much I’m going to love coming home at night to see my baby smiling at me. Here’s to getting back to reality!

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